Jude Bellingham breaks the deadlock in Andalucia with a superb goal, his 16th of the season. He cut inside from the left, played a square pass to Brahim Diaz and kept running. Diaz played a golf shot over the defence that Bellingham controlled on the chest and slipped past the keeper, all in one smooth, imperious movement.
Man Utd 0-1 Bournemouth “Happy holidays!” writes Liz White. “Re: sacking Ten Hag, I also vote ‘why bother?’ Who would they replace him with? United might have a little new manager bump, but then it’ll be more of the same or worse. Stick with him.”
Yes I’d give him until at least the end of the season, although there have been a few recent hints that the job is starting to overwhelm him. As scruffy as United have been this season, you can’t ignore the impact of injuries. Lisandro Martinez has been a particularly big loss. I would start by selling Marcus Rashford in January, if they can get at least £100m, and buying a right-back and a right-winger. They really missed a trick by not going for Tino Livramento in the summer.
Man Utd 0-1 Bournemouth Bournemouth are 30 minutes away from history: their first ever victory at Old Trafford.
The next Manchester United manager
“Yes, we’ve all made ‘Give it Big Sam’ jokes, but at this point, I can’t really think of a better option,” says Matt Dony. “Huge, confident personality, not afraid to lay the smack down in the dressing room. He might not have managed a club of that size, but he has managed truly elite players. And he’s certainly not afraid of the media spotlight. It’s sort of hard to tell, but I don’t think I’m joking.”
Have you been enjoying another Laphroaig brunch?
WSL match report: Man City 2-1 Aston Villa
The latest scores in our featured games
Man Utd 0-1 Bournemouth “Watching the United game, it’s clear that it no longer matters how well or badly poor old André Onana actually performs,” writes Robert Wilson. “That defence is playing like they have an elderly badger in goal. Zero trust or confidence. It can’t help. It’s basically a goal a game (it used to be called the Gary Sprake Rule). It’s adding greatly to the gaiety of nations.”
GOAL! Leicester 4-0 Plymouth (Ndidi 55) Leicester are running riot now. Wilfred Ndidi has scored their third goal in the space of seven minutes at the King Power Stadium.
GOAL! Leicester 3-0 Plymouth (Mavididi 52) Stephy Mavididi gets his second, a swaggering individual goal, to put Leicester 3-0 ahead. They are an exceedingly good association football outfit.
Frankfurt 5-1 Bayern “Eintracht Frankfurt’s performance hasn’t come out of nowhere, but they’ve been patchy this season and drawn more games than they’ve won,” writes Kári Tulinius. “Today they’ve looked like the Europa League-winning side of two seasons ago. Bayern haven’t been good, but the Eagles deserve more credit than the Bavarians deserve blame.”
I’m sure you’re right, not least because you’re able to watch the actual game, but Upamecano’s part in that fourth goal…
On Frankfurt, has Knauff been as good as he looked during that Europa League campaign?
GOAL! Leicester 2-0 Plymouth (Daka 49) Patson Daka gets his first goal of the season, finishing easily after a lovely flick from Issahaku Fatawu. Leicester are cruising to victory/promotion.
“On Ten Hag, I’ve changed my mind midway through this season,” says Digvijay Yadav. “I don’t want him sacked. What’s the point? When homegrown academy products can’t be arsed to apply themselves with dedication (like against Newcastle) then what good is it changing a manager? He is by all accounts a good coach and his previous club have found it onerously hard to replace him. Might as well stick with him and break this pernicious cycle.”
Half time: Real Betis 0-0 Real Madrid It sounds like that was a pretty quiet first half in Andalucia.
Eintracht Frankfurt 5-1 Bayern
The last time Bayern conceded five goals in a game was, yep, away to Eintracht Frankfurt.
Man Utd 0-1 Bournemouth
“What is everyone waiting for: Ten Hag has to go,” says Jeff Sax. “Enough is enough.”
He’s the manager of the month! (Rightly or wrongly, I suspect he’ll be gone by February. But who the hell would go near that job?)
Peep peep! It’s half-time in the 3pm games, so it’s a good time to remind you of the latest scores in all our featured games.
Red card! Rangers 3-1 Dundee Jose Cifuentes has had a yellow card upgraded to red by VAR, so Rangers are down to ten men.
Ansgar Knauff has put Frankfurt into a barely believable lead against the champions Bayern, flicking the ball nonchalantly past Manuel Neuer with the outside of his right foot.
The first Sheffield United goal of Chris Wilder’s second spell is a beauty from James McAtee! He received the ball on the right edge of the area, shifted the ball onto his left foot and floated an extravagant curler into the far top corner. That’s a classic goal.
Man Utd 0-1 Bournemouth “Knowing how Man U need to beat Bournemouth by 20 goals today to go ahead of City (for 24 hours at least) made me think about Dion Dublin and how his broken leg at the hands of Eric Young of Palace forced Ferguson to find another striker,” writes Peadar de Burca. “By the time Dion recovered, Ferguson’s new find, a charismatic Frenchman, had clicked with Mark Hughes and the title was on its way to Old Trafford. Well done then, Eric Young.”
Do you think he’d have signed Cantona anyway? My hunch is that he would, although maybe the results wouldn’t have been quite so bad had Dublin stayed fit.
The teenager Wilson Odobert has given Burnley a surprise lead at the Amex Stadium. He cut inside from the left and hit a speculative shot that deflected off James Milner and looped over the keeper.
GOAL! Eintracht Frankfurt 4-1 Bayern Munich (Ebimbe 50) Bayern are having a nightmare. Dayot Upamecano charges forward, overruns the ball like a Sunday league defender and is dispossessed by Fares Chaibi. He runs 40 yards and plays in Junior Dina Ebimbe, who clips a first-time finish past Manuel Neuer at the near post.
Man Utd 0-1 Bournemouth The goalscorer Dominic Solanke has hit the post for Bournemouth, who continue to look so menacing in transition.
NO GOAL! Rangers 3-1 Dundee Ahem squared. Joe Shaughnessy’s goal has been disallowed because of a foul in the build-up.
GOAL! Middlesbrough 0-1 Ipswich (Chaplin 36) Conor Chaplin has put Ipswich in front with a deflected strike from the edge of the area. Look, they can’t score goals like this every week.
GOAL! Rangers 3-2 Dundee (Shaughnessy 37) Ahem.
GOAL! Rangers 3-1 Dundee (Sima 34) Rangers are cruising now. Abdallah Sima has scored their third goal in a 15-minute spell that has flattened Dundee.
The revitalised Matheus Cunha has equalised at Molineux, sliding Pablo Sarabia’s excellent cutback past Matt Turner. That was a nice, clean goal from Wolves.
Sheff Utd 0-0 Brentford Frank Onyeka gets away with only a yellow card for what sounds like a really poor tackle on Vinicius Souza. It was checked by VAR and they decided the yellow card wasn’t a clear and obvious error.
Man Utd 0-1 Bournemouth It sounds like a very open game at Old Trafford. Marcus Tavernier has just had a goal disallowed for Bournemouth, while United have had 74 per cent of the possession.
Talking of which… “I might be none too pleased with the scoreline, but this is beautiful play from Manchester United with defenders rotating into attack and play spread all over the pitch – all while down a goal in the pelting rain!” writes Matthew Richman. “Credit to Bournemouth, who are executing a game plan well with Solanke sparkling. Martial should take note.”
Can’t you do it for him?
GOAL! Rangers 2-1 Dundee (Tavernier 26 pen) James Tavernier, with a little bit of help from the second, third and fifth letters of his surname, has put Rangers in front from the penalty spot.
Half-time: Eintracht Frankfurt 3-1 Bayern Munich
“I promise I am not a Harry Kane hater,” says Joe Pearson, “but wouldn’t it be funny if Bayern won nothing this season?”
I just want football to be the winner.
GOAL! Rangers 1-1 Dundee (Dessers 20) Cyriel Dessers gets his fifth league goal of the season to bring Rangers level at Ibrox. A win today would leave them five points behind Celtic after 16 games.
“Loving the Parlour hat-trick video – what a team that was!” writes Jake Lewis-Smith. “Also loving how the video you linked disproves your ‘I think’. The commentary includes the line, ‘His second hattrick for the club, following on from that treble at Werder Bremen in the Uefa Cup quarter-final last season’. Very warm wishes for a busy winter season ahead from a miserable pedant.”
Look, I’m sorry if my egregious cock-up has offended you, but the dramatic representations that we’re now having of my incompetence are absolutely absurd.
Match report: Sunderland 2-1 West Brom
Louise Taylor was at the Stadium of Light to watch the Daniels (no not them) give Sunderland victory over West Brom.
GOAL! Leicester 1-0 Plymouth (Mavididi 15 pen) The leaders lead through Stephy Mavididi’s penalty.
GOAL! Eintracht Frankfurt 3-1 Bayern Munich (Kimmich 44) Here it comes. Joshua Kimmich whips a 25-yarder into the net to give Bayern hope of a comeback in Frankfurt.
Harry Toffolo has put Nottingham Forest into the lead in their mustn’t-lose game at Molineux. It was a triumph for wing-backery: Neco Williams made it with a deep cross and Toffolo’s downward header beat Jose Sa.
The latest scores in our featured games
Match report: Crystal Palace 1-2 Liverpool
Jonathan Liew was at Selhurst Park to watch Liverpool go top of the league.
GOALS! Rangers 0-1 Dundee (Bakayoko 5), Eintracht Frankurt 3-0 Bayern Munich (Larsson 36)
Bayern Munich are being taken to the cleaners.
On this day in 2000… Raymond Parlour gets the only hat-trick of his career (I think)
Bournemouth are rewarded for a flying start at Old Trafford! (And for not sacking Andoni Iraola.) Lewis Cook won the ball high up the field and crossed low towards Dominic Solanke, who beat Andre Onana with a deft first-time finish.
On this day in 1998… Gary Neville shows why he’ll be a great pundit one day.
GOAL! Eintracht Frankfurt 2-0 Bayern Munich (Edimbe 31) I say! Junior Dina Edimbe has doubled Frankfurt’s lead, wriggling past a defender and poking the ball into the net at the near post. Bayern’s defender was imperfect, to say the least.
On this day in 1995… the champions lose 5-0 at Coventry.